Saturday, April 18, 2020

Easter 2020

Do not be fooled
by the silence of elders
who have kept watch at
the bed-sides of others, passing.
The universe will not enfold you gently,
turning down the stars like a silky bedsheet
over your face.

There is instead slow strangulation,
The desperate heart shaking its cage.
And if not strangulation perhaps
the bowel backing up to the mouth,
Face slacken in paralysis and gibbering,
Or sharp searing pain like white hot nails
Or your chest will hammer and twist you
to the floor, gasping.

Your body's final malfunction
will have no grandeur.
It will arrive like a mad lab assistant
bringing animal terror as the hand
reaches for its fresh victim -
inescapably; you

And you will beg.
Yes you will, you poor thing.
Beg, and plead and pray
To preserve the wonder of you.
Everything you have known and loved.
And somewhere an orderly will laugh, shortly,
The nurse tick a chart, or type, and
a doctor raise an eyebrow,
Finding you cold.

Bundled from the stage
Will you try some clumsy curtsy
Gasping, garbled words
As the uncaring world calls "next"
and someone else mops the floor.

And you find yourself on
A deserted street
In an empty city.

The unusual quiet of a sunny day
And the serious cheeriness of people,
Serenaded by birdsong
Makes an unexpected vantage point
To survey this long valley of
the place you called I.

Look!
There are your plans!
See them there, stretching out in the sun
green and fertile to the horizon.
Here, your towering justifications,
mighty reinforcing structures.
Beneath: your failures; and sinking lies.
Here are your wooded, wistful places,
Your golden triumphs (which seem so much
smaller from here), your tries
Which never quite turned out how
You envisaged them.

And these, these are your people
Picking at the spread
Wondering (now that you are dead)
How they never knew, or what they
Ought to do, now you aren't here
to influence them.

Looking back
Was it an act?
Were those chances ever choices?
A script you followed blindly
Allowing for small improvisations
Here and there to bring a touch of colour.
A role you played
As only you could
As only you ever would.
An extra on History's stage.
A pawn in some larger game.
You never understood.

As you enter into the pages of memory
Do you really need redemption?

Did you infringe against the universe?
Your crimes and misdemeanors so very
different to any others, and in the end
so consequential?

Or was it only those you said you loved
Whose love, or needs or wants
You took so much for granted.
Who truly can absolve?
And now you can do nothing new,
does it matter now?
Your stains are made
and irreversible.

Oh, Saul, you wicked taxman
I see your redactions.
Making a muppet of the mantle
worshipping the messenger not the Word.
It was you who made Easter omelettes,
And painted the empty shells from
the popularity of older religions.
Making sacrifice of love,
ritual of inspiration.
In love with the power
of organisation.

Today the world at Easter
For once
is still and silent as a tomb.
The cities empty, the streets empty
the human race is waiting.

But it is not sacrifice this invokes.
It is the stillness of the Word.
Each moment hangs like fruit
rich and ripe and
just for us.
Rippling
each collision of consequence and chance
Unique and unrepeatable.
Ignore it, or admire it
It's all you have.

He said
Fill it with love
for it is your eternity.






Monday, April 6, 2020

covid fairies

In the pocket of the night
Furtive, shy of the moon's bright face
We slide in tree shadow
Along fences, along walls,
Avoiding that pox riven gaze
lighting trees,houses, gardens
like a searchlight.

This is a time for mice and mushrooms
The softest footfall, scampering over
needles, under creaking pines.
Beware the gleaming eyes of ferrets,
owls and lollock's, making mischief
beneath the sighing branches.

Now is the time for whispers
And collusions, signs and confusions.
The glaring certainty of daylight is dissolved
It's leaden tread of precision 
muffled Into foggy memory, 
leaving only a quiet
As deep and still and sublime as if
the humans have finally learned
To listen.

We have danced softly on your graves
We have defecated on your cars
Pissed on your fences, teased your dogs.
We have despised you as you despised us.
And you never cared,
Or even noticed.

You pretend to be still
In your distant gleaming houses
Your cities, factories of noise no longer
But are you listening really?
Or is the noise still in your heads

Friday, March 20, 2020

New Day


And you wake to the smell of grass
still damp with dew and not quite warm
as the sun still cannot see into the long shadows.

And you don't quite remember
where you are
or how you got here
but being free you rush out
into the garden, still in pajamas
discovering the world
remade.

And the light falls on your skin
so warm and bright you can't help laughing
alarming birds, raising the heads of the bigger animals
who consider you briefly, like a tourist.

And you find it's a place you remember, but don't know.
Large enough to be content but not so large as to dominate in any way.
Imperfect with concessions and practicalities
to nature, people and money in tiny unknown stories
which you don't know, but which you can guess
even if they reveal nothing specific.
about your hosts.

You linger in the sun
til, filled with birdsong and visions,
your curiosity overcomes you, and
with some trepidation you re-enter
the dark intimacy of the house,
exploring the incomplete stories of
a thousand details, seeking clues
about your hosts.

If years pass
will you remember this day?
Or will you obliterate the past
desecrate the stories
defile creations.
Let your laziness spill over everything,
complaining, argumentative and narcissistic
changing everything for convenience's sake
cheating, and avoiding until
you forget joy
forget discovery
forget respect
and forget it was all,
all of it,
a gift

and that today
is a new day.